Learning Dean Winchester
by Tisha Wyman
Summary: Sam is tired of his brother's attitude, actions, and stupid antics. He wants normal and to have it, he wants out. Things happen that open his eyes to the reasons behind Dean. I do not own, nor do I make money from Supernatural or its characters.
1. Prologue

Learning Dean Winchester: Prologue

Sam Winchester sat in the diner across from his brother, watching the man stuff food into his mouth and hitting on a pretty blond waitress. The younger brother was frustrated and angry. He wanted out.

His list of reasons grew longer every day. The Dean who returned from Purgatory was worse than the Dean who was sent there. Sam saw no reason to have to continue his existence living and hunting with is big brother. He wanted other things. Most of all he wanted out from under the burden of Dean.

Sam looked up as Dean went to pay for the meal. The older man turned and winked at him. Sam sighed. There was no telling what time the man would return to their room. Standing and stretching his tall frame, the younger hunter nodded and walked out of the restaurant. It was a half mile hike back to the motel and the weather was growing colder. He looked at roiling clouds in the sky and thought, 'Snow or ice?'

The good thing for him was no brother tonight. Sam smiled softly and walked faster.


	2. Chapter 1

Learning Dean Winchester: Chapter One

Sam woke to the sound of his cell ringing. He picked up the phone and looked at the time on it. The younger Winchester sat up, turned on the lamp, and answered, "Dean? Where the hell are you? It's 3:50 in the morning!"

"Sammy?"

"Dean? Are you all right?"

"No, Sammy. I need you. Please. Come get me," came a soft, whispery voice.

"Okay, where you? Where does your latest one-nighter live?"

"Not there, Sammy. I'm on a road. I can't drive any further. I'm hurt bad."

"Is your gps on?"

"Yeah. Hurry, Sam. I'm not doing good. I can't stop the bleeding."

"What? Okay. I'll be there as fast I can."

Sam hung up the phone, dressed and looked for the items that would be needed to stop whatever bleeding Dean had. He made sure the med kit was full and left the motel room. He found a van at the end and broke into the vehicle and hot-wired it.

It took fifteen minutes to locate his brother. The car was on a dirt road outside of town. Sam pulled his gun out as he left the stolen van.

He opened the driver's door of the Impala. Dean was unconscious. Turning on the overhead light, he saw a large cut in Dean's abdomen and inhaled at the amount of blood.

Working to stop the bleeding, he wrapped tape around a large pad and used a belt to tighten the pressure on the wound. He slowly moved the man over to the passenger side and drove the Impala towards town. He called Garth and asked for a hunter's doctor.

Garth came back to him with a doctor who lived on the other side of town. Sam was grateful that the other man had called and paved the way.

Dean moaned and Sam glanced over. It was too dark to tell if the man was okay. He figured any sound was good at this point. Frustration mounted as the younger hunter tried to figure out how his sibling had managed to turn a one night stand into such an injury.

The doctor was standing outside of his clinic with a gurney. The two men worked to place the injured man onto the equipment and rolled him inside the building.

"What happened to him," the physician asked.

"I have no idea. He had a date, if you know what I mean," Sam replied in disgust.

"Girlfriend?"

"I doubt he knew her more than thirty minutes before he took her out."

"Ahhh. Let's see the damage," the man responded as he undid the bandages.

"He's slit open. Cara, prepare 101 for surgery, please." Sam looked up as a woman in jeans and t-shirt entered. She looked at the situation and ran towards the back to prepare.

"Cara?" Sam asked.

"My nurse. Damned good one too."

Sam stood there as the nurse returned and helped the doctor take Dean towards the back. Sam told them Dean's blood type and went to sit in the waiting room.

Time passed slowly and Sam dozed off.

At 8:15, the doctor woke the taller man.

"How is he, Doc?"

"You need to find a place to stay awhile. The cut was deep and I had to do some repair work. The muscle will take time to heal. No hunting or any extraneous movements. He has to take it easy. I'd say for at least three or four weeks."

"Are you serious? With Bobby Singer dead, there's no one who can make him stay still," Sam ran his fingers through his long hair. "Damn it!"

"There must be someone he will listen to?"

"Cas, maybe. If I can find him."

"Good. He can't stay here. This is a clinic. You need to find a place and take him there."

The clinic door opened and a man in an over-sized trench coat walked in.

"I have a place where he can stay, Sam. Let's remove him."

Before anyone knew what was happening, Castiel, Sam, Dean, and the Impala were gone.


	3. Chapter 2

Learning Dean Winchester: Chapter Two

Sam turned and stared. They were in a large room with log walls with a massive beamed ceiling. A roaring fire in the large rock fireplace gave out heat and hominess.

He walked to the door and stepped out onto a large covered porch with rocking chairs and a table inviting him to sit and stare at a wonderful view. The house was on a mountain with a lake in the distance.

The Impala was parked beside the cabin. This reminded him of Dean. He went back into the house and began to search. There was a large, well-stocked kitchen. There was a bath off the hallway and three bedrooms. Dean lay on a bed in the Master. Castiel sat on a chair beside him.

Sam entered and stared his brother, who was still drugged from the surgery. The I.V. had been removed. A medical kit contained the drugs and supplies that would be needed. Looking at the angel from his taller height, Sam frowned.

"Are you going to heal him so we can get out of here?"

"No, I am not. The time has come for you to face your issues, Sam."

"My issues?"

"Yes. I am sorry you have to go through this, but I am even more sorry Dean has to suffer because of it. If I healed him, you would not learn."

"Learn what?"

"Your brother, Sam."

"My what?"

"I do not believe you are deaf, Sam, and I know how intelligent you are. We are going to spend some time learning why Dean Winchester is what he is. I am actually surprised you never bothered before this, but you will now."

The angel watched the younger brother walk out of the bedroom and go sit on the porch.

The smell of the trees and sound of the wind blowing, soothed the younger Winchester. He reflected on his anger and how he wanted out. Maybe. Maybe it would not hurt to listen. He could still leave.


	4. Chapter 3

Learning Dean Winchester: Chapter Three

Sam sat on the porch for several hours, marveling at the angel's patience. Castiel had not come looking for him. Curiosity got the better of the man as he rose and entered the house.

Checking out the kitchen, the hunter took a bottle of beer from the refrigerator and walked to the rear of the cabin and his brother's room. He stopped when he heard voices.

"Relax, Dean. Drink some of this water so you can swallow this pill."

"Damn it, Cas," came a soft, hoarse voice. "It hurts."

"I know. The fever does not help. Drink this."

Sam heard silence for a minute or so.

"Thank you, Cas. I'm so thirsty."

"We have to take it slow, Dean."

"Why don't you just zap me with some of your mojo?"

Sam entered, "Because he wants me to grow up and understand all there is to know about you."

Dean's flushed face turned towards his brother. His glazed eyes tried to focus clearly on the figure standing in the doorway.

"What?"

"I am going to put an end to the feuding, Dean. Sam needs to learn you."

"I don't understand."

"I didn't expect you to, Dean," Sam commented. The young hunter watch his older brother wince in pain and gasp sharply.

"What the hell does that mean, Sammy?"

"You can damn well quit calling me that. I'm not seven anymore."

Green eyes stared up in confusion as he fought to keep his breathing calmed down. Castiel stood up and walked over to the younger brother. I suggest you go and get some decent rest."

Sam turned and walked out of the room. He heard his brother speaking softly to the angel.

"What does he think I did wrong this time, Cas?" There was fear and sadness in the voice.

Shaking his head, Sam entered the bedroom nearest to the front of the house. He took a shower, laid down and fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 4

Learning Dean Winchester: Chapter Four

Sam was sleeping a dreamless sleep when he heard a voice speak softly, "Remember."

He turned and looked into a man's face. A woman called out a name and the man place a finger to his mouth and went 'sshh.' He felt something enter his mouth and he swallowed automatically.

It was dark except for one small light. The man turned as someone entered the room. Sam heard a woman scream and man's voice in the distance. He focused as another man leaned over and looked at him.

The younger Winchester whispered, "Dad?"

Sam felt something wet hit his face and then heard his Dad scream "Mary!"

Suddenly the room was bright with light, heat, and smoke. John Winchester picked him up. 'How?' he thought.

He felt smaller arms hold him and heard his Dad tell someone to take Sam out and protect him. "Run, Dean!"

'Dean?'

Images followed after the fire. Dad holding him. Dean in shock and not speaking. Staying at someone's house. His Dad and a woman looking down at him. "We will keep Sam, but not Dean. Something is wrong with him. He won't speak and he keeps crawling into the bed with Sam."

The arguments over Dean's actions flowed through his mind. Sam began to toss in his sleep. The voice that had told him to remember murmured, "He would not leave you. He was told to protect you."

Sam sat up, coated with sweat. He could see the fading light through the drapes in the room. Getting out of bed, the younger brother dressed and walked down the hall and looked in on Dean. The hunter was asleep, but there were furrows on his brow. His brother was in pain.

Walking over to the table beside the bed, he saw a note pad with times and what had been given to the older Winchester. Looking at the clock, Sam realized it was time for the pain pill.

Pouring a small glass with water, taking a pill from the bottle, Sam sat on the side of the bed and gently touched his brother. Dean jerked awake, and groaned in pain.

"Hey, it's okay, Dean. It's time for your pain pill. You were grimacing," Sam spoke softly as he carefully lifted his brother so the man could swallow the pill with the water.

"There you go," the younger man said softly.

He sat on the bed and watched the injured man slowly drift back to sleep. Through his mind came the same thoughts. 'He didn't leave me. He carried me out. Damn it! He had to have been about four years old.'

Sam rose quickly when the thought came to him, 'I'm his job!' He headed to the kitchen with the thought on his mind. His head was whirling. All the stupid things Dean had done was to protect him.

"Damn it, Dean! We grew up! You didn't have to keep doing that."

Sam made himself a salad and some soup. He was confused about what he was thinking. 'Why did Dean think he had to keep on doing that?'

The voice returned and Sam jumped. 'He was told to do so. His father was always right.'


	6. Chapter 5

Learning Dean Winchester: Chapter Five

Sam cleaned up after his meal, the dream in his thoughts. Deciding to find out more, he went to the living room and found a book he thought Dean might like. There had to be a way to approach the subject without upsetting and injuring his brother.

Walking down the hall, he saw a dim light on the table by the bed. Castiel was back in the chair. The angel looked up as the younger man entered the room.

"You weren't here earlier. I noted giving him the pain meds in the chart you have made up."

"I saw it, Sam. Thank you. I am investigating the attack on Dean," was the soft reply.

"Any luck?"

"Not yet. Do you wish to sit with him?"

"Yeah. If he wakes, I thought I would read to him or we might have a talk."

"I have things I need to tend to. I will be back before you retire for the night." The angel stood up to give his seat to the taller man.

"Thanks, Cas," Sam said softly.

"You are welcome, Sam."

The angel disappeared and the younger Winchester made himself comfortable. He looked at his brother. Dean seemed to be sleeping deeply. Sam felt frustrated he might have to wait on the talk, but took the time to study his brother.

The older man looked uncomfortable. He wished he could ease the pain more, but knew it would not happen. He stared intently at the injured man.

Dean looked pale, but he had paler skin that Sam. It just never registered in the younger man's mind that Dean could have a more fragile look. His brother's personality overwhelmed the look at times. Most people felt him more than seeing him. Sam thought it was a shame. Dean was actually a handsome man.

Sam smiled at the freckles. Dean found them frustrating at times. His brother was only concerned about his looks when a woman was present. Sam had to admit his brother could attract them. He almost laughed about it.

Sam frowned for a minute. He had found what normally irritated him humorous. He began to think about all the women. Why did Dean chase after them so much?

Sam jumped when he heard the strange voice again, 'Why should it bother you? Dean has a need to be appreciated and loved. Even a one-night stand lifts his ego. He seldom receives what he needs at home, Sam. Think about that.'

The younger hunter looked at his brother with another puzzle partly answered.

He whispered softly, knowing Dean did not hear him, "Am I part of the reason you chase women, Dean?" Sam Winchester had another thing to worry about and work through.

He sighed and leaned back in the chair, waiting for Castiel's return.


	7. Chapter 6

Learning Sam Winchester: Chapter Six

"Sammy?"

The younger man awoke with a jerk when the hoarse whisper pierced his slumbers. He looked into a pair of green eyes filled with pain. Noticing the time on the clock, he checked the medicine schedule and took out two pills. He carefully lifted his brother and helped him take the pills. Dean swallowed the water thirstily.

"Not too much, Dude," Sam softly told the injured man. "I'll give you some more in a little while. Let's see how you do with this."

"Where are we?"

"A cabin Cas took us to. How are you feeling?"

"I'll be fine."

"Okay, Mr. Macho. Now, how are you feeling?"

"I said I'm…."

"Cut the crap, Dean. I know you better than anyone. How are you feeling?"

Green eyes stared into hazel ones. The older hunter licked his dry lips. Sam heard a deep sigh and grinned.

"It's not funny, Sammy," whispered the injured man.

"Of course it is, Dean. You don't have a con to get out of the truth this time. It's hilarious."

"It's hurts like hell."

"I thought as much. I brought a book I thought you might like. I'll read to you for a bit. Get your mind off the pain."

"kay," Dean said softly.

Sam opened the book and began to read. Halfway through the first chapter, Dean dozed off.

Sam stared at his brother, thinking he should have been doing this all along. Of course, Dad would've raised hell, but Dad hadn't been around in a long time. Sam laid his head back and dozed off. At least he got Dean to admit he hurt. He smiled as drifted off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 7

Learning Dean Winchester: Chapter Seven

Sam slept deeply, head rolled to the side, slumped in the chair by Dean's bed. He turned restless when the voice returned.

'Dean is afraid of loss, Sam. You have been angry over many of his actions. Why did he sell his soul? Why does he always attempt to go in first? Why does he always throw himself in front of you? Part of it you know. He will protect you over everyone including himself. There is more.'

Sam watched the times he ran away. Dean would hold the fear in, but would be almost sick with worry. Flagstaff was a turning point for Dean. It was not the typical run away attempt. John came home to find Dean tearing the entire community apart. Their father blamed the older boy. It was his job to watch and protect Sammy.

The younger brother watched in shock. John Winchester took a wide, thick leather strap. Dean was forced to strip down. The hunter beat his son until the boy could no longer stand.

'No! Don't! It's my fault, not Dean's,' Sam cried in his sleep.

Sam remembered the strange look on Dean's face when his older brother gave him every dollar he had. Getting on the bus for Stanford, he took one last look in the man's eyes. They looked dull, almost lifeless.

His possession by Meg had cost both of them dearly. Murder had occurred and Dean covered it up to protect his brother. The older Winchester was afraid for him.

When Azazel kidnapped all of the special children, Dean left no stone unturned. His brother and Bobby found him but it was too late. In a way, he had left Dean again.

'Damn,' Sam whimpered in his sleep.

He remembered the fight before he killed Lilith. He had chosen Ruby and deserted Dean. His brother attempted over and over to save him from what he gotten into, but he had not recognized it as such.

The next time he left, they both agreed on it. Dean could not protect him and do his own job without getting hurt. It had been a painful parting.

He remembered the cage and how his brother looked before Sam jumped in. Still, he was brought back and hunted for a year before Dean knew he was alive. He'd done it to give Dean the life he should have had, but Dean really didn't live that life. He knew it now.

He thought of Amy. Dean had been right in killing her, but the worst nightmare he was now dreaming.

Dean was on his own in Purgatory. There was no time to rest. He hunted for Castiel and finally made an alliance with Benny. He knew Sam would be hunting for him. Benny knew a way out. Keeping Castiel safe and getting back to his brother kept him alive.

'I didn't even try,' Sam whispered. 'No wonder he's hurting, angry, and sarcastic towards me. '

Sam tossed violently on the chair, waking himself and Dean.

"Sammy?"

Covered with sweat, the younger Winchester looked across at his injured brother.

'What in the hell have I done?'


	9. Chapter 8

Learning Dean Winchester: Chapter Eight

In his drugged induced haze, Dean stared at the tears and sorrow on his brother's face.

"Done?" he whispered in a hoarse voice.

"Dean, I probably have a long way to go, but this is a start for me. I kept deserting you over and over all of my life. I'm sorry. I think it never really registered in my head how important family was to you."

"Sammy?" Dean coughed and grabbed his abdomen in pain. His brother grabbed the glass of water and gave him a drink. The injured man nodded showing he was finished. "Damn it, Sammy, what the hell are you talking about?"

"When you killed Dick Roman with Cas' help both of you disappeared. Crowley took Kevin and Meg and told me I had better start killing the Leviathans that were left. I was completely alone, Dean. I lost it. Maybe it was shock. All I knew was you were gone. My mind told me you were dead, Man. I couldn't think. I was in this cloud of fear, panic, and loss. I got in the car and I drove for days, weeks…I don't know how long. When I met Amelia, she was running too. It just happened with her. We needed each other. "

The green eyes stared up the younger man. Dean did not answer. Sam wasn't sure if he'd done more damage or helped by confessing to his brother. They stared at each other until Sam saw one long tear run down his brother's cheek. The taller man broke into tears.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I thought everything I knew was gone forever and I couldn't do it alone. I'm sorry."

"It's gonna be okay, Sammy. I'm glad you told me what happened. I love you, Man. Talk to me. Okay?"

Sam laid his head on Dean's lap and murmured, "Okay." Dean put a hand on his brother's head and ran his fingers through the long hair.

Cas returned to replace Sam, but when he saw both brothers asleep on the bed, he smiled. Sam had Dean in his arms and held him gently, his own head leaning against the injured man's.

The angel nodded and disappeared. It was one victory in healing the boys' relationship.


	10. Chapter 9

Learning Dean Winchester: Chapter Nine

Sam rose the next morning and fixed breakfast for himself. He read the treatment papers for Dean. His brother could have soft foods. The younger man grinned. Dean and soft foods?

Sam made Jello and pudding and placed them in the refrigerator. He found a box of instant oatmeal and made a small bowl of the cereal. The hunter added a teaspoon of brown sugar.

Entering the sick room, the taller man saw the angel staring at his brother.

"Is he all right?"

"Yes, Sam. I will return to my investigation. He will be safe with you."

Sam wondered if the angel was making a statement or asking a question. He sat down where Cas had been and gently woke his brother. He gave him his pills and asked if he was hungry.

"Food?"

Grinning, Sam fed his brother the oatmeal. Dean murmured a soft thank you and dozed back off.


	11. Chapter 10

Learning Dean Winchester: Chapter Ten

Sam woke early and decided to go for a walk and clear his head. He found a spot beneath a tree near the lake and sat down to do some thinking. He understood that there were specific reasons for Dean's actions. The younger brother found it difficult to believe that his brother's behaviors all stemmed from family issues. Rising to his feet, Sam Winchester decided to beard the lion in his den. He intended to force Dean to talk to him about all of his issues. One at a time, of course, he decided.

He entered the bedroom and noticed the angel had not returned. Dean slept quietly. Sighing, the younger hunter sat in the chair by his brother, not considering he'd left the older man alone in the room for several hours.

Green eyes opened and Sam found himself the recipient of a questioning gaze. He leaned over and clasped his hands together between his legs.

"We need to talk, Dean."

The man in the bed frowned and the questioning gaze returned. "Okay," he whispered.

"I've been having a lot of dreams about the reasons you are the way you are. Have you had any at all?"

"Why would I dream about that? Sam? Why are you dreaming about that?"

"I don't know, Dean," Sam stared at his brother. "Do you think I'm the cause of a lot of your problems?"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Sammy. You told me what happened after Roman died. Is that what you mean?"

"That is exactly what Sam means, Dean. It is good to see you awake and more alert," Castiel answered from the door. The younger Winchester turned red.

"Why don't you fix Dean some lunch, Sam. You must be hungry also."

Blue eyes followed the tall man as he rose, stiffened, and strode from the room.

"Cas, What's going on?"

"You are healing slowly and I am investigating your attack. Sleep," the angel responded as he laid a finger in the center of the injured man's forehead.

Sam began to make some soup as Cas appeared behind him.

"Do not do that again, Sam," the blue eyes stared intently at the tall man. "He is not ready for that. This is to help you help him. Do not do that again." The angel disappeared and Sam slammed a fist on the counter in anger.


	12. Chapter 11

Learning Dean Winchester: Chapter Eleven

Leaving the soup on the stove, Sam stormed out of the cabin and walked towards the trail he had seen earlier. His mind was a filled with confused ideas and anger tore through him.

What right did the angel have to come between his brother and him? The hunter began to see the angel as the intruder separating the two of them. The tall man strode down the trail for several hours. He noticed the sky darkening and turned to head back towards the cabin.

The building was dark when Sam entered the yard. Frowning, the hunter walked up the steps to the porch and he listened. There was no sound coming from inside. Opening the door, he listened and stepped softly inside.

There were no lights on in the building. Cursing to himself, Sam headed down the hall towards his brother's room. He entered quietly and reached the chair. Sitting quietly, he turned on the lamp. Dean looked paler than before and he was feverish.

"Damn," the man swore under his breath.

The older man stirred and the green eyes opened and the older man stared at him.

"Sammy?" There was worry in the voice.

"Yeah, Dean?"

"Are you really gonna leave me?"

"I'm…uhhh. Dean, right now you're sick. Let's wait and talk about this when you better."

The older man turned his head away. Sam gave him his meds and some water.

"I'll fix you something to eat." He got up from the chair.

"I'm not hungry," came the soft whisper.

"I'll find something you'll like. I promise."

Sam headed down the hall, upset with himself. His emotions and thoughts were a mass of confusion again. What did he want? He was in a turmoil over want versus need.


	13. Chapter 12

Learning Dean Winchester: Chapter Twelve

**I got married on Saturday, January 5th, and just returned from our honeymoon. We watched a lot heavy rain, fog banks, and lightning streaking through the clouds on the Gulf of Mexico this week. I will be finishing this story. He likes to read and I wrote. This was usually late in the evenings. Hugs. Missed all of you.**

Sam stood in the dark kitchen trying to remember what he was supposed to do. He turned on the lights and his hunter's eyes searched the room. A pot of soup was on the stove. He vaguely remembered leaving it.

Sighing, the younger Winchester walked to stove and emptied the soup in the trash. Dean needed soft foods but he was feverish. The tall man walked over to the refrigerator and saw some ginger ale on a shelf. Vanilla pudding was on the shelf above the soda. He frowned. His brother needed something to build his strength and help him heal.

For the second time that day Sam cursed the angel for not healing his brother. Dean was suffering and he thought it was unnecessary for the older man to go through this.

Sam walked towards the pantry and looked on the shelves. At that moment, he spotted the tomato and rice soup. The younger man smiled for the first time in days.

Entering the room quietly, Sam set the tray on the table by the bed. He could tell that Dean was still feverish. He touched his forehead. It was hot."

"Damn it, Cas," the young man whispered. "Hey, Dean."

Dean slowly turned his head and looked into his brother's hazel eyes.

"Hey, Sammy," his voice sounding hoarse. The green eyes stared into the other man's. "I wasn't sure you'd come back."

"Where else would I be, Dean? You're injured. We always have each other's back. Right"

Dean barely nodded. Sam realized the pain meds had not kicked in. He'd left him alone too long.

"Sammy, I'm so thirsty. Could I…." Dean never had the chance to finish the request. Sam lifted his head and placed the glass of ginger ale to his lips. Dean sighed when he finished drinking.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I've got some soup for you. I know you're not hungry, but we both know you need it. It's your favorite."

"What Mom used to make?"

"Tomato and rice," the younger brother spoke softly.

"I'll try," whispered the injured man.

"That's my boy," Sam said with a smile in his voice. He knew Dean better than anyone. Tomato and rice soup was home.


	14. Chapter 13

Learning Dean Winchester Chapter Thirteen

Sam thought back over what he had said to his brother as he watched him sleep. He had told no one that Amelia had given him an ultimatum. She wanted him instead of Don, but with no chains attached. He was struggling with the decision: Amelia and normal or Dean and life as a hunter.

He loved Amelia. Life with her the past year had been sad at times, but they had both healed. He wanted her and that life. He look at his brother. Dean had been deeply hurt over his running instead of looking for him. Sam knew he was wrong for having done so. He tried to explain it and Dean probably understood now.

Life with Jessica had been his only attempt at normalcy. Azazel was dead. Why couldn't he have the life with Amelia? Dean seemed contented with their lifestyle since he returned from Purgatory.

Sam leaned his head back and slept. Another dream entered his trouble thoughts. He saw himself tied up. A woman was questioning Dean. He remembered. She was a goddess of truth. Dean talked of how he had cared about Lisa and Ben. He heard the pain in his brother's voice as said that he was a killer and could not have a normal life and the family he wanted. He had to protect them.

The dream changed and they were sitting in the Impala. He was angry at Dean for having allowed Castiel to block out Lisa and Ben's memories of him. Dean had seen Lisa almost die. He watched Ben lose the innocence he'd tried to protect. Sam knew Dean was not thinking clearly when he'd asked the angel to do so. The Braedens would not know to protect themselves.

Suddenly a small memory broke free. Dean was sitting behind the wheel of the car, not wanting to discuss what he'd done. The man had been choking back the sobs that were attempting to shake his body.

Dean had loved them. His brother had tried for normal and carried the pain of that loss alone.

Sam awakened; his mind troubled. He looked at the sleeping Dean. The fever had broken. He moistened a cloth and bathed his brother's face. Amelia didn't want Dean in their lives. He knew Lisa let Dean hunt because Dean needed Sam in his life. She would give him is life and wait for his returns. They had at least tried. Amelia would not offer this.

"I've got to be alone for a while, Dean. I've got to think things through," Sam spoke quietly, knowing his brother didn't hear him.

He turned and walked out of the room.


	15. Chapter 14

Learning Dean Winchester Chapter Fourteen

Sam didn't hear the car drive up to the cabin. He'd left the front door open and the visitor walked in and began to look around. The soft tread of footsteps echoed through the hall. The individual looked into each room while heading towards the end of the hall where Dean lay sleeping.

Castiel appeared by lake where Sam leaned against a tree. The hunter looked at his brother's guardian and frowned. He was tired of the angel's influence over his brother.

"Well?" Sam asked.

"We need to hurry, Sam. Dean should not be alone."

"If you had healed him, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Sam, the thing who attacked Dean is human."

Sam stood up, "What?"

"Your brother left the apartment of the young woman he slept with. He walked outside towards the Impala where he was accosted by an attractive woman."

"Aw, crap. What did he do? Get too pushy?"

"No. Dean was contented. He may have been flirtatious. She would not have liked that."

"What she, Cas?"

"Dean turned towards the Impala and was stabbed by the woman. He managed to hold her off from doing more damage and reached the car, but she followed him. It took time to lose her, Sam."

"Why would she follow him?" the younger Winchester asked.

"We need to go now. He should not be alone."

Sam turned to run and was stopped by the angel, who touched him.

The two appeared in Dean's room and saw a woman standing over him. She had a pillow and was holding it over the sleeping man's face.

Sam stared in shock and suddenly spoke, "Amelia?"

The dark haired woman stopped and turned to stare at the tall man walking towards her.

"What the hell are you doing? He's my brother."

"He's in the way, Sam. You don't need him. Let me finish this. He was already dead to us. Let him remain that way."

"Don isn't dead, Amelia. Why does Dean have to be?"

"Don isn't stopping me from being with you. Dean? You aren't sure. I need you, Sam."

"No. You just tried to kill my brother. Get out!"

Amelia stared at the young hunter and turned towards Dean and pulled a stained knife from her coat pocket. Before Sam could stop her, the angel intervened. The knife flew into the air and slid across her throat.

Castiel removed her.

Sam stared at the spot where the woman he loved had been standing. He saw the knife on the floor. She would have killed Dean.

Sam looked down at the man on the bed. Green eyes stared at him. There were pools of tears in those eyes. He sat down beside his brother.

"Dean, I…"

"I'm sorry, Sammy," the older brother whispered.

"Dean, Man, I don't know what to say. I don't even know what to do right now."

"Why don't you go away for a while, Sammy. Make your decision. Come back when you know what you're gonna do."

Sam nodded and looked at Castiel, who nodded in agreement. The young man left the house and drove off in Amelia's car.

The angel walked over to the bed and touched Dean's forehead. The hunter gasped and sat up. He stared into the blue eyes looking down at him.

"Cas?"

"You have had enough pain for the moment, Dean. You are welcome to stay here for a while and rest. Maybe you should go fishing."

"Fishing?"

"You enjoy it. Take some time for yourself."

The hunter nodded as the angel vanished.


	16. Chapter 15

Learning Dean Winchester Chapter Fifteen

**I started out having one chapter here, but I like the idea of two chapters, so this is not the end of the story. I hope you enjoy. -Tisha**

Dean stayed at the cabin for two weeks. He was restless and was trying to bury the fears he was feeling deep within himself. Sam had not been in touch and the hunter knew he would still have to function.

The man paced back and forth in the large living room of the cabin. He had fought well with Cas and Benny, but they weren't Sam.

After the third week with no word, Dean almost called his brother. He changed his mind. He'd given Sammy time to make up his mind. It wouldn't be right to call him.

Two days into the fourth week with no calls, Dean packed his duffel and loaded the Impala. There were snack foods in the kitchen pantry. He took those to keep him from having to stop often. The hunter filled the ice chest with drinks from the kitchen and placed the bags of food and the chest in the back floorboard of his baby.

On the fourth day of the fourth week, Sam returned. He noticed that the Impala was gone and panicked. Running into the house, he looked for some message from his brother, calling for the angel at the same time.

Castiel appeared in front of him.

"What is wrong, Sam?"

"Dean's gone."

"This is almost the end of four weeks. I doubt either of us would expect him to stay here. It would be unlike him to wait this long. Knowing how he thinks, he would have thought you were not coming back."

"Damn it," Sam said in frustration, taking out his cell.

Dean's phone went to voice mail.

"Dean, I'm standing on the porch of the cabin with Cas. Where the hell are you?"

After disconnecting the call, Sam turned towards the angel. "Well? What do we do now?"

"We wait. I do not know where he is. The sigils on his ribs make it impossible to find him."

Sam opened his cell and made another call.

"Hey, Garth? …..Yeah, this is Sam…..Have you…..What?"

Sam listened. "Thanks, Man. I owe you one."

Sam turned to the angel, shaking his head.

"He's in South Dakota, cleaning up Bobby's old place. From what I can gather from Garth, he's drunk most of the time."

"Do you need the car?"

"No….I," Sam never finished the sentence. The two of them were standing in the salvage yard. They found Dean beneath a car, cursing as he tried to loosen a bolt. There were beer bottles everywhere.

Sam gently kicked the bottom of one of his brother's boots. They heard a clanking noise as Dean's head came up and he hit the underside of the car.

"Son of a bitch!"

The older Winchester crawled out from under the car, holding his head. He was yelling, "What the hell do you want?"

"To come home," was Sam's reply.


	17. Chapter 16

Learning Dean Winchester Chapter Sixteen

Dean sat there, blood slowly seeping from the head wound, face covered with grease, and the green eyes were wide open.

"Sammy?"

"I'm sorry I didn't call, Dean. I had a lot of things I had to make right. I didn't want to talk to you at the time. I needed to know I was making the decision because it was what I wanted to do."

Dean got to his feet and grabbed his brother.

"Are you all right? Where did you go?"

"I'm okay. I had to take care of the dog and talk to Don, Amelia's husband. I wanted him to know I no longer loved her and I was out of her life."

"Sammy, she's dead."

"Yeah, but he doesn't know that. I don't intend to tell him the truth. Do you?"

"Where's the dog?"

The younger Winchester grinned, "With Kevin and Mrs. Tran."

Dean stared in surprise, "Really?"

"Yeah, all three are getting along just fine."

Sam looked at the work his brother had been doing, "Are you rebuilding Bobby's?"

"Yeah. Garth is doing his job, so I thought I'd have a place to work from. I don't want to hunt every minute of the day. I told Garth to let me know when he had a hunt no one could handle or if he had no one available. Sheriff Rhodes has most of Bobby's books. I'm building the house over the panic room."

"Okay. Are you planning on running Bobby's business?"

"I'm rebuilding the cars, Sammy. I hope to sell them and make a little cash. There's some old classics back there."

The younger brother looked around him, thinking as he took in what Dean had done.

"I think Winchester Brothers Salvage would work," Sam suggested.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, but we keep the hunting skills honed."

"Winchester Brothers sounds fine to me," Dean smiled.

Castiel interrupted the reunion, "You will need a place to stay."

"I found an old travel trailer in the back. It's workable for now."

Sam opened his cell, "Hey, Garth. Dean and I are staying as a team, so call if and when you need us. Once the house is built, we'll have Bobby's books back."

Sam listened with a grin on his face.

"He says he has them."

"Bobby told him about one of his stashes, Sammy. We have copies of those and of everything he had. Bobby made sure there was enough to go around if anything happened."

"Let me find a place where I can set up an office around here."

The angel left the two brothers working on the business and building a house. He knew they would still hunt, but for the time being, they were rebuilding the only home and real relationship they ever knew.

Sam looked at his brother. "Dean, I will probably still get frustrated with the things you do, but I understand why you do them. I can cope with that. It's part of being a family."

"That works for me, Sammy. There's a room in that old building over there. It could be turned into an office. You're going to need some things for keeping records," Dean said, smiling through the grease. "Of course, you might want to get all the grease off you."

Sam began to feel the old irritation, but he smiled, "If I'm going to work with a grease monkey, I'll end up being covered with it any way. He caught the Impala keys as Dean threw them at him.

"Before I go, I'll get the first aid kit and fix your head."

Dean sat on the ice chest and smiled, happy for the first time in years. He sighed and leaned his injured head against the side of the car.

"Thank you," he murmured to whoever would listen.


End file.
